Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Journalists and Marines in the Desert

Rush always says that comedy must have an element of truth to it for it to be truly funny.

I got this from Michael, a fellow Jeeper and blogger:

Anchors Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, and Cokie Roberts and a U.S. Marine were hiking through the desert one day when they were captured by Iraqis. They were tied up, led to the village and brought before the leader.

The leader said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the condemned a last wish. Before we kill you, do you have any last requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl full of hot, spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."

Peter Jennings said "I am Canadian; so I'd like to hear the English National Anthem one last time." The leader returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the music. Jennings sighed and declared he could now die peacefully.

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen. Maybe some day someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end." The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?"

"Kick me hard in the butt," said the Marine. "What?" asked the leader. "No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the behind," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the hindparts. The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, the Iraqis were dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked him, "Why didn't you just shoot them? Why did you ask them to kick you?"!

"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you three jerks call ME the aggressor?"

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